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It is a well known fact that everyone would benefit from a successful negotiation. Then why it is so difficult to convince the other party that you are the right one and they should follow? And why at all should you be making efforts to convince? Isn’t it that obvious? Let’s see!

Negotiations are something very sophisticated to master. But far from impossible I would say. There are not many but enough fundamental principles that one should follow when negotiating. Negotiations skills are highly desired. In many spheres of our lives but particularly in business. And it is simple why: negotiations skills will directly affect your sales and profits. But how do you do that?

The Negotiator’s one and only goal is to develop a meeting point for all parties’ greatest interests. Not to create benefits for one of them.

Let’s explore few factors included in the negotiations processes: Ego, Interests and Benefits. All of those 3 are exactly what one should be focusing on when negotiating. Now pay good attention that negotiating far form being manipulative, bullying, harassing, persuading and influencing. But as we come to the above 3 (Ego, Interests and Benefits) it often fails us to focus on the right one. When negotiating with someone you need to focus on what they what and develop a strategy how to deliver that to them in way that you can also benefit from the consequences that will occur. You need to stay fully focused on other parties core points (Ego, Interests and Benefits) and operate very carefully with all variables disposable around the situation. As people and organizations often focus on their own ones (Ego, Interests and Benefits) negotiations tend to fail as everyone think: “why should I do the first step and please the other side?”. Well the answer is very simple: Because it is not only you that will benefit from doing that but it is the other party that will gain equal benefits too.

Better be good at negotiations. Any price you pay is the amount of life you spend to create $ and then exchange it for XYZ in products or services.

To execute properly your negotiations strategies. No matter if it is a single sale deal or a peaceful negotiations plan on geographic region you need to have the following:

1. A plan to follow. And plan 2. And plan 3. And may be 10. Work on the variables.
2. Make a great first impression. Don’t wait to get impressed first.
3. Ask the right questions. A cliche but still – stop talking and boosting your ego.
4. Listen well. Don’t wait till the other party stop talking so you can “show how great you are”.
5. Use your imagination for solutions. You need to think as there is no box at all.
6. Read body language. It often contradicts with what is being said.
7. Watch out for lying. It is also easily notable.
8. Know how to handle conflict. That pays a lot to everyone. Everyone would give up here.
9. Be confident no matter how badly you are bleeding.
10. Evaluate and asses the situation’s progress. Stay focused.
11. Leave the emotions on your bedside table. Anger as well.
12. Don’t allow your own power to crash you.

You are born to be negotiator. It is a 24/7/365 job. Children know how to get attention from parents. And other things as well…

Here is an EXERCISE for you. There are number of versions of this game that actually allows fanatic learning points and conclusions to be made. Choose two people or friend and give them $20. In one note. Tell them that if they can negotiate a deal in 60 seconds on how to split the money between them they can keep them. Rules say that they can’t split 50/50 and if they get to second 61 with no agreement they both loose. Surprisingly you may hear the following:

– I better get the money instead of no one taking them. You can get me a pizza next time we meet.
– I will get $12 and you $8. You see. You will have $8 more than if it wasn’t me.
– I really need that $20. Last time you did not cover your coffee receipt so…

Well this kind of thinking leads to a dead end. One of them keeps staying focus on his/her own Ego, Interests and Benefits. As we said this is fatal to the negotiations. What about approaching that way:

– I suggest you consider me getting the $20 and in exchange I will play guitar for free on you Bday, as long as you want, will get you the chocolate you love and will tell you my Speed Internet WiFi password so when you are in the office you have the best connection. Think about that opportunity?
– I am happy for you to take $10.01. I will stay with $9.99
– I can put and extra $1 on that. So you take $11 and I will get $10. You will have even more than the half that way.

You need to be well prepared on the 12 principles above and stay focused on the other party’s Ego, Interests and Benefits.



  • DO: stay focused on the other party’s Ego, Interests and Benefits.
  • DO NOT: put your Ego, Interests and Benefits first.

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